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Saturday, November 7th, 2009
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2:37 pm
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I feel like I dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't looked at my list in ages (well, but I have been eating properly again cause my housemates all nag at me, and I have been keeping on top of my work - which is probably the reason for my non-existence, but I haven't been praying or going to the gym but that's because I now sound like Darth Vadar's and Kermit the Frog's love-child). Exam on Monday and I feel like I might not be completely fucked for it after all! Life is good and busy and I'm going to Wales on Wednesday. This week is "reading week" and guess what, I actually have a fuck load of reading to do! I'm going to come home after my exam and catch up on everything I missed over this week - finish a piece of coursework before I forget it's due, do my readings for my amazing optional module on international health and write up the notes from two weeks ago, and start reading up on next week's module because we finish a whole book of anatomy in two weeks.
My life has been taken over by work but I fucking love it because it's interesting and amazing and I'm just so happy.
But.
The thing that I want the most, though, is all my friends from back home so bad. It doesn't help that I found out a week ago that my sister is not coming to London after all and all our plans of weekend-long SPN marathons, trips to Paris and finally visiting Laduree, and crazy cook-offs because my sister cooks nearly as well as my mom... all of that is gone. And I've already cried twice so I'm going to do the thing I do so well and successfully and AVOID thinking about it. I'm sorry I haven't called, I'm sorry I haven't chatted much on MSN or facebook. I will, though. When I get my life back to myself for a minute and the time-zones are right. I just wanted to say for now HI I'm not dead and I miss you all!
current mood:  busy
current music: Oasis - Shakermaker
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| Saturday, October 10th, 2009
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10:07 pm
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I just finished my second week (well, week-and-a-half) of classes and I'm already falling behind. I was told by some upper-year clinical students that second year is supposed to be, other than the final year, the hardest year of medical school. I can totally see why. So far, we've finished going through half a book of anatomy alone.
So I'm sorry I haven't been updating but I really don't have the time. I have no idea how I'm going to juggle putting in effort in my work with joining societies, and jobs. I may have to give up one of my jobs if I fuck up my first exam, which by the way, is in four weeks. I've already been giving up on my sleep. Bah.
So I'm taking a break to read my flist which I haven't done in ages, and then its back to work!
current mood: busy
current music: The Prodigy - Firestarter
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| Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
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9:06 pm - snap back (to reality)
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It's always the last week that rushes by a bit too fast. All that waiting and wishing to go back to what is now my home suddenly seems so silly, because guess what, it's time to go!
But it's back to reality, people. No more lazing around, reading food blog after food blog, baking regularly and experimenting with all sorts of things I've been afraid to make - layer cakes, bread, and cookies to name a few. No more soaking up new books (and revisiting a few old ones) of all genres (Twilight! Sense and Sensibility! Wuthering Heights! Anne of the Island!) in glee and delight and even confusion. No more lazy lepaking in Coffee Bean and Starbucks with mochas (extra shot, please!), iced teas and salads, engaged in conversation with old friends, or studying with wild abandonment - yes, it's possible to study for leisure! Sure, I'll miss it, but I look forward to growing older with new experiences, to trying hard to accomplishing everything on my list, to cooking for myself everyday again, to hours of Guitar Hero (aah, how my fingers yearn for thee) and even, yes, the crazy thirty-hours-a-week timetables and studying at the kitchen table frantically before joining the party going on next door.
I started this entry a little scared about going, and panicked at not having packed enough, not having eaten enough, not having met people enough, but now I'm hopeful and even a little proud of my accomplishments. While this summer has been idyllic, I have grown. I reconnected with old friends, I engaged myself in my favourite past-times and even challenged myself to try out new things - in reading, in baking, and even in eating. (I just ate, with the greatest pleasure, durian snowskin mooncake, something I wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole three months ago.) From being a total couch potato, I can now push myself to run 5km in 30 minutes. And, most amazingly (for me), I learned to be comfortable with only myself for company. Of course, most things are better with friends, and I can't imagine sitting in a movie theatre alone, but its been brilliant to be more confident in myself and just enjoy the me-time.
This last year - summer included - has been crazy. Who knows what will happen this year?! Now I can't wait to find out. :)
current mood:  accomplished
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| Friday, September 11th, 2009
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12:21 pm - rain, rain (come again another day)
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I have missed the rain in Singapore. You look out the window, and the coconut trees are swaying hard with the wind, and it looks like the clouds have descended to enshroud houses five hundred metres away. You could be in China, or India, or Cambodia. But you look down at the roads and watch as they efficiently drain away the rain pounding on their hard black tarred backs. Still, they flood a little, so you can splash around in them, or curse the rain for soaking through your new shoes and wrinkling your toes. The longkangs sing with the voices of rain rushing through. It evokes memories of being a child, ignoring the shivering cold to scream in pleasure at getting wet, or to concentrate on setting little paper boats down in the drains. Maybe they capsize, or if you're lucky, maybe they perilously float a little way down, only to be forgotten with the joy of trying to set another paper boat down. The lightning cracks open the sky, you think the world is ending, and then you know for sure because there is an earth-shattering clap of thunder and the sky is tumbling down on you. You curl up inside your house, the air con running at 18 degrees, almost as cold as outside. There is steaming teh tarik and soft, pillowy tau sar buns, or there is sleep in a cold, downy quilt, or there is a book to be devoured amidst the soundtrack of the rain and the music from your computer, or you turn up the television to drown out the crashing of the rain against your roof.
It's maybe even a little scary if the ghostly winds are wailing outside and shaking your windowpanes, but it's always beautiful.
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: Coldplay - Death and all his Friends
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| Monday, September 7th, 2009
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6:10 pm - cause you so much pleasure (cause you so much pain)
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I feel sick. I have been eating fuck loads the last few days. Today my parents and I headed to Komala Villas - which, just so you guys know is over sixty years old! - to have yellai saapadu, or a rice meal on banana leaf. Food always tastes better on banana leaves. It's a massive mound of rice, with three different things to pour over, four different vegetables, vadai, payasam, appalam, and pickle. Oh, and by the way, you can ask for more of everything. Two vadais and two payasams later, I was fit to burst.
Then I bought iced teh halia, packet please. Half of it is still hanging off the side of my closet.
Then I ate a massive piece of bread because I needed to taste it. And obviously, one bite wasn't enough. Now I feel sick. Fit to burst. You know that feeling when you've eaten way, way too much and you can't move, sit, or breathe? Yeah, like that.
I'm also kinda in a sulky mood because the last two things that I've made haven't really turned out, well, perfect. The Bavarian plum pastry? The plums didn't ooze juice over the pastry, and the pastry rose in the oven when it's supposed to be flat. And the oatmeal knots I made today? Well, I didn't let them rise a second time cause Google told me so so they're not as airy (=dense, uncomfortable feeling when you eat one when you're already stuffed) or as massive as they should be.
Sulk, sulk, sulk.
current mood:  sick
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| Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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9:59 pm - our hopes and expectations (black holes and revelations)
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| Thursday, August 20th, 2009
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10:36 pm - once in a while (but between me and you)
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So I just had two appams and oh, fifteen cream crackers. For supper.
My excuse is that I get neither appams nor decent cream crackers in London. And since my mouth hurts from the chewing, I probably burnt all the calories off already. ;)
Yes, I am the girl who counts Guitar Hero as exercise.
current mood:  satisfied
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| Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
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11:08 pm - should i stay (or should i go)
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For all that I have said about being completely stress-free and having an amazingly idyllic summer filled with baking, eating and watching embarrassing amounts of television (see, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) insideabubble, I spelled that right!), there are deeper issues that are bothering me. Especially tonight.
The longer I stay in Singapore, the more indecisive I get about staying here. I've been bouncing back and forth between staying (the job opportunities! the growth potential) and leaving (the job market! the weather! the cut-throat unfriendly competition!). And I've been certain about my decisions... until now. You see, it all boils down to whether I understand Singapore enough. Am I being naive, unrealistic, cynical? What do I know about actually living here? I mean, I can't read the papers in the morning without flying into an apoplectic fit. But on the flipside, what do I know about London anyway?
Or maybe it's nothing about understanding the working enviroment. Maybe my anger at my parents is colouring my decision... or maybe I'm angry because I don't understand. RRAAAAAARR. I can't imagine leaving London - a city that I am madly in love with - but I can't imagine not coming back to my homeland. Sure, I have five more years to decide... but these five years will pass by in leaps and bounds and be over too fast. Maybe I should start on my pro/con list now? Some help please?
On other news, I've had amazing conversations with FFF in the last 24 hours. In summary, life is hard work, money isn't the same for everyone, good lord have we grown, boys suck, somewhere lady luck smiles on us, and I need to get laid.
current mood:  distressed
current music: Imogen Heap - Closing In
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| Sunday, August 9th, 2009
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8:28 pm - trust me (on this one)
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PMS is a bitch. It makes you cranky, angry and upset. And morose and stupid. And I've discovered a brilliant way to take my mind off things - baking. Baking, or cooking, really, it doesn't matter as long as I have a recipe to follow. Over the last year, I've discovered a love of recipes, and not just for baking. In cooking, it gives you a brilliant guideline of how to put together a dish that you know is fit for consumption, and of course whether you increase that half-a-clove-of-garlic to five-cloves-garlic, or swap out a-teaspoon-of-chilli-flakes for three-slices-dried-chillis, or completely change beef-stew to chicken-curry it doesn't matter, because it's cooking and you can experiment and change and edit all you want.
Baking, on the other hand, has a horrible reputation for beiing rigid. You! Must! Use! One! Cup! Self! Raising! Flour! Well, I've always been horrible for following rules, and there has yet to be a recipe I've followed strictly. That half teaspoon of vanilla? I just throw in a good splash. And if you tell me to use white caster sugar? If I want to, I'll use soft brown sugar, thank you very much. And just try to get me to add flour without sifting it in first. Oh sure, if a recipe tells me to beat eggwhite to soft peaks, I'll do it of course, but when it comes to the ingredients, most things are fair game. Of course, the reason why baking has a reputation is because small changes can have huge results. The texture, taste, consistency. Not using a metal spoon to fold in flour in a butter cake? Perish the thought!
And it is this brilliant balance between rigidity and flexibility that I love to bits. Baking is my haven. And all the stress and anger and sadness always melts away while I'm baking. So I didn't really mind when I cooked/baked for six hours straight on Friday. Even though my spanking new pretty 10" springform pan made the cakes look short and ugly. And while I woke up after four hours on Saturday wondering why I was going to make another elaborate birthday cake (my third in 24 hours!), I had a blast while doing it. I especially love when the method is simple and relatively unfussy. Beat this, add that, sift that in, bake. Cut, fill with this, glaze with that.
And oh, of course, the best part about baking is having other people enjoy themselves while eating it. Food. What's not to love?
More pictures on facebook.
current mood: satisfied
current music: Imogen Heap - The Moment I Said It
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